NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 




A Fool for Luck 




COPYRIGHT, 1889, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 



BAKER'S Edition of Plays 



ARRANUED BY NUMBER OF CHARACTERS, MALE AND FEMALE. 

^'URTHER PARTICULARS IN REGULAR LIST. 

PRICE GIVEN AFTER EACH PLAY. 

Inhere a play is known under two titles, both are given as separate ptay$, in 

this list only. 

Two Characters. — One Male, one Female. 

An Original Idea . . 15 

Three Chakactees. — Two Males, One Female. 

Box and Cox .... 15 I Mary Moo 15 I Silent Woman . , . 1» 

Unprotected Female . 16 | I Which Shall I Marry? 16 

One Male, Two Females. 

A.pple8 15 I Two Flats and a Sharp 15 | Which will Have Him? IB 

Four Characters. — Two Males, Two Females. 

Bouquet 15 

Give a Dog, etc. r . 15 

Match Makers ... 15 

Personal Matter . . 25 

Three Males, One Female. 
Bombastes Furioso . 16 | The Tempter .... 15 | Sailor's Return 
Five Characters. — Three Males, Two Females. 



Census Taker ... 15 


Fairy's Father . , 


. 15 


Mr. JoflSn's Latchkey 15 


Madam is Abed . . 


. 16 


None so Deaf as those 


Putkins . . . . 


. 15 


who Won't Hear . 15 







Its 



Anonymous Kiss . 
Cousin Tom . . . 
Done on Both Sides 
Sylvia's Soldier . . 
Ugly Customer . , 
Blue and Cherry . 



Kiss in the Dark , 



Only a Clod 



15 


Doubtful Victory . . 


15 


15 


My Son Diana . 


15 


15 


Two Buzzards . . . 


15 


15 


Appearances are De- 




15 


ceitful 


15 


15 


Don't Judge by Ap- 






pearances . . . . 


15 



Under a Veil .... IB 
Nature arid Philosophy 15 
To Oblige Benson . . 15 
Welsh Girl .... 15 
The Youth -who Never 
Saw a Woman . , IS 



Two Males, Three Females. 
15 I My Husband's Secret 15 I Poor Pillicoddy . 



Phantom Breakfast 



U 



15 



Four Males, One Female. 
15 I Two Heads are Better I T^umpeter^* Daughter 15 
I than One .... 15 1 



Aunt Charlotte's Maid 15 
Always Intended . . 16 



Dandelion's Dodges . 15 
Drop Too Much . . 15 
From Information I Re- 
ceived 15 

I've Written to Brown 15 



Six Characters. —One Male, Five Females. 

The Only Young Man in Town 30 

Three Males, Three Females. 



Advice to Husbands . 15 | 



My Sister's Husband . 15 
Never Say Die ... 15 
Your Life's in Danger 15 
Four Males, Two Females 
John Wopps .... 15 
Nursey Chick weed . 15 
Needless Stratagem (A) 15 
Once on a Time ... 15 
Slice of Luck (A) . . 15 
Sullivan, The Slugger 15 
Five Males, One Female. 



Sarah's Young Man 
Two Puddifoots . 



Sunshine through the 
Clouds 15 

Soldier, Sailor, Tinker, 
and Tailor .... 15 

We're All Teetotallers 16 



] Diamond Cut Diamond IB 



WALTER H. BAKER & CO., PUBLISHERS 
23 WINTER ST., BOSTON, MASS. 



FOOL FOR LUCK 



Jt &omt&^ In ^xoo ^cts 



w. m/browne 




BOSTON 

1890. 



\ 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

As originally performed by omaleun. al Associates' Hall^ Milton, Mass, 

April 3J, jSSq. jot the beiiefii of the Fret Reading Room^ 

at Alattafan, under the title oj 

"B. B. & P." 



MR. WILLIAM BETTERBY.a young viarried man in straitened 

circumstances as a result of speculation . . Mr. Rivers 
MR. ROBERT BIDDER, his intimate friend, a New-York stock- 
broker Mk. Hunt 

MR. ARTHUR BABBURTON, a^o?/n^ £»^/Kc/i«((jn . Mr Bkowne 
WATTS, valet to Babburton . . . . . . Mr. Jacil'es 

MRS. BETTERBY, .e.-Z/fr^;;/'.'! Tt///if Mrs. Rivers 

MISS POl.'LARD, her younger sister Miss Jaques 

MISS PATTERN, Betterbf s aunt .... Miss Sherwood 



Note. — The personage known as Babburton is distinguished by a slight 
impediment in his speech, distinctly not a stammer, but merely a difficulty 
in pronouncing the letters '-b" and "p." 




Copyright, 1889, by Waltes H. Baker & Co, 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 



ACT L 

Scene. — Breakfast-room in Miss Pattern's house, ■pret- 
tily furnished ; doors, c, R., and L. ; table and chairs, R. 
C. ; various other articles of furniture arratiged about 
the room. Mr. and Mrs. Betterby seated at table, R. c, 
reading mail. 

'BYJTTEXi^v (^openifig and reading letter^. "Sir: we hope 
you will excuse our writing to you, but as we have large pay- 
ments to make," etc., etc. Certainly, you're excused. {Opens 
another letter j reads.) "In accordance with Rule XL, Sec- 
tion 8, of the Liberty Club, your name has been posted for 
non-payment of your May bill." Hear that, Dolly ? Name's 
up at the club. 

Mrs. B. I'm sorry, dear. It's very annoying, I know. 
But is there no letter from Bob Bidder? Oh, dear! If B. 
B. & P. only does go up, as he says it will, we'll be out of' 
our misery and back in our own house again. 

Bet. Yes, here is a letter from Bob. {^Opens letter?) 
Let's see. (^Reads.) " Dear Billy, meant to drop you a line 
yesterday, but was too busy. Wish you could have been 
here last night. Burroughs and Reed and all the rest of our 
crowd met at " — h-m-m {mutnbling) — " my ante " — h-m-m 
— "full house." This part doesn't interest you, Dolly. 

Mrs. B. Why, Willie ! I didn't know his aunt entertained 
at all ! 

Bet. Hem ! Neither did I. But here's what you want 
to hear about. {Reading.) " B. B. & P.'s June earnings will 
be published in a few days now, and they say they will make a 
much better showing than they did last month. I can't find 
out anything definite, however. The stock gained a point 
to-day, as you will see by the papers. Can you persuade 



4 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

your aunt to invite me down over the 4th, and bring a friend 
— an Englishman named Babl)urton? His sister married 
Blai<e, the president of the B. B. & P., and I thought we 
mitiht get a few points out of him about the road. Knowing 
30ur aunt's aversion to tiie Stoclv Exchange, I am a httle 
afraid to have you ask her to invite me, but if your wife will 
use a little of her irresistible persuasion, I think you can 
manage it. If I don't hear from you by wire to-morrow 
morning, I shall take it for granted that it's all right and 
come down on the 10.30." {Looks at watch.') Great Heav- 
ens ! Dolly! it's past that now ! What can we do .'' 

Mrs. B. Go on. 

Bet. Go on what ? where? 

Mrs. B. Go on with the letter. 

B!;t. Oh! {Reads.) " Down on the 10.30. By the way, 
I forgot to say that Bahburton will bring his valet along. I 
suppose he won't make any difference." Ph-e-w ! I3ob's 
cheek is perfectly magnificent. Well, Dolly ! you'd better 
speak to the old lady at once. The sooner we get over these 
unpleasant little duties the better, you know. 

Mrs. B. Why don't you speak to her, Willie ? 

Bet. I? Well! you see — in fact — the truth is — I'm 
very busv — 

Mrs. B. Ha ! ha ! Never mind ; I'll do it. But, to tell 
you the truth, I don't enjoy the prospect. 

Bi:t. There's nothing to be afraid of. All you have to do 
is just tell her — just tell her. 

Mrs. B. Just tell her what .' 

Bet. 'Well — just tell her — 

Mrs. B. You know how she feels about you and your 
friends since you lost so much in stocks last winter. 

Bet. Well, I should say I did. Why, she told me yester- 
dny she was sure I'd lose every cent of her money if she 
siiould leave it to me, and said something about five thou- 
sand a year in trust for us, and all the rest to a Home for 
Aged and Indiii,ent Orphans, or Neglected Widows, or — 

M :s. B. Wiiat nonsense ! Who ever heard of an aged 
and indigent orphan ? 

Bet. I'm an indigent orphan now myself, and I suppose 
I shall become aged as I grow older. 

Mks. B Perliaps so, dear. But your aunt can't mean it. 
Five thousand a year ! Why, that wouldn't do us any good 
at all. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK, 5 

Bet. Not a bit. But perhaps she may see some good in 
me some day, and change her mind. Where's Carrie .'* 

Mrs. B. She's helping your aunt with her eggs. 

Bet. Has the incubator declared a dividend — I mean, 
hatched a chicken yet .-' 

Mrs. B. No, I believe not. But why don't you trv to 
interest yourself in it, dear.'' It might please your aunt 
to have you. 

Bet. I did try to. In fact, I suggested lots of things. 
But she only got mad about it. 

Mrs. B. What did you suggest ? 

Bet. I asked her if she'd tried boiling the eggs before she 
put them in, and then I asked her if she hadn't forgotten to 
put the hei.s in, and she told me I was something — I've for- 
gotten wliat — blithering idiot, I think it was. Carrie seems 
to understand how to get along with her. 

Mrs. B. Well, perhaps Carrie has more tact than you 
have, dear. Dear me, I'm afraid tlie poor child is falling in 
love with Bob Bidder, and, although he is a very good fellow, 
and I like him very much, I don't think his income is very 
reliable. 

Bet. Oh, Bob's all right. 

Mrs. B. Yes, I know ; but /want Carrie to marry a man 
with plenty of money. Now, if tiiis Englishman turns out to 
be a nice man, Carrie can marry hitn. 

Bet. You seem to feel sure he'll be willing. 

Mrs. B. Of course he will. {Etiier Carrie, l.) But 
here she comes. Well, dear ? 

Carrie. Brother William, your aunt is in a terrible frame 
of mind. 

Bkt. What's the matter now ? 

Car. Not one of the last lot of eggs has hatched, and 
they are a week late. So she has taken them all out of the 
incubator, and intends to try again with a new lot. And she 
says she'll make them hatch, if she has to live in the incuba- 
tor and have her meals sent in. 

Bet. I have it ! Happy thought ! Put the Englishman's 
valet in there. 

Car. Englishman ! What Englishman ? 

Mrs. B. Why, Willie has had a letter from Bob Bidder, 
and he's coming here with an English friend of his and his 
valet, and expects me to see that Aunt Pattern is glad to see 
them, and will want them to stay two or three days. 



6 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Car. If Mr. Bidder is coming, you needn't worry, Dolly. 
He's sure to smooth Miss Pattern the right way. I really 
believe she likes him very much. 

Mrs. B. Yes, of course you do. But hush! here she 
comes. 

{Efiter Miss Pattern, l., carrying a large basket of eggs, 
■w/iich she places on a table, L. c.) 

Miss P. There ! If that incubator doesn't hatch this 
time, there'll be trouble. 

Bet. It must be a very queer sensation to be born by 
machinery. Don"t you think so, auntie ."" 

Miss P. How should I know ! I'm no chicken. 

Car. Oh, Miss Pattern ! 

Bet. Right you are, auntie. Ha! ha! ha! 

Miss P. William, hold your tongue. You know perfectly 
well what I mean. Besides, sir, if I'm not a chicken, no 
more am I a silly lamb at the mercy of bulls and bears. Car- 
rie, tell Thomas to take those eggs far away from the house 
and bury them. 

Bet. But, auntie ! why do you bury them ? They haven't 
come to life yet. 

Miss P. William, when I am so reduced that I need any 
advice from you, I'll ask for it. Besides, for all you know, 
they'll come up and grow. 

Bet. That's so. Egg-plant, by Jove ! Never thought of 
that. {Aside.) She knows a good deal, after all. 

Mrs. B. {hesitating). Aunt Pattern — I want — to tell 
you — something. 

(Betterby starts to leave the room unobserved^ 

Miss P. William, where are you going? (Betterby 
stops short and remains.) Well, Dolly, what is it you want 
to tell me .'' 

Mrs. B. {hesitating). You see, Aunt Pattern — we 
couldn't possibl)' help it — but — 
■ Bet. That's it, auntie — we tried our best, but — 

Miss P. William, keep quiet. Go on, Dolly. 

Mrs. B. This morning a letter came from Mr. Bidder, 
and — 

Bet. That's it, auntie. We couldn't help it. It just 
came. 

Miss P. William, will you be quiet 1 { To Dolly.) Well ? 

Mrs. B. And he says he would like very much to pass 
the 4th with us, if — 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 7 

Bet. Yes, auntie. You see he's very ill, and — 

Miss P. Mercy! Nothing contagious.'' 

Mrs. B. No, no, Aunt Pattern. {Aside.) Willie, please 
don't talk. {A/oud.) He's not sick at all. Only tired of 
town, and wants to see us all, and — 

Miss P. Well, I'm sure I shall be glad to see him. 

Bi:t. Great Scott ! {Aside to Dolly.) Go it, Dolly. 
You're doing splendidly. 

Mrs. B. But that isn't all. He — he wants to bring a 
friend with him — an Englishman — 

Miss P. Who is he ? 

Mrs. B. I believe he's a brother-in-law of Mr. Blake, the 
president of — 

Bet. {trying to stop his wife). Dolly ! Dolly ! 

Miss P. William, what in the world is the matter with 
you ? {To Mrs. B.) Well, president of what .'' 

Mrs. B. Of a railroad. I believe they call it the B. B. & P. 

Miss P. I shall be happy to see Mr. Bidder's friend too. 

Bet. Well, I'll be— ■ 

Miss P. {internipting hiui). Never mind what you will 
be, William. You seem to think it strange that I should be 
pleased to welcome here a few men with brains. 

Bet. Certainly, auntie, certainly. 

Mrs. B. {hesitating still more). But there's one thing 
more. This — this Englishman has — has — ^ 

Bet. {desperately). O Lord ! 

Miss P. {sharply). Has what? What is the matter? I 
don't suppose he has the small-pox, has he ? 

Bet. {eagerly). That's it, dear auntie ; he — 

Miss P. Mercy ! 

Mrs. B. No, no, no. 

Car. You're losing your senses, Willie. 

Miss P. {Jirmly). Now, Dolly, tell me distinctly, without 
any more of this nonsense, what is it this Englishman has ? 

Mrs. B. {very mildly). A valet. 

(Betterby sinks into a chair.) 

Miss P. A valet ! Humph ! Not so bad as small-pox. 
It isn't contagious. I can find room for him. When do you 
expect all these people ? 

Mrs. B. Mr. Bidder said he would take the 10.30, so they 
ought to be here very soon — 

Car. {listening). Hark ! There's a carriage now. {Goes 
to door at back, and looks out.) Yes, here they are. 



8 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

{Enter Bidder, Babburton, and Watts ; Watts carry- 
ing valises, top coats, itmbrellas, etc.') 

Bidder {coming forward quickly before Babburton ; 
Watts reviains standing stiffly at rear). Aha! I'm so 
glad to see you all again. It's very <:ood of you, Miss Pat- 
tern, to take us in on such short notice. This is my friend 
Mr. Babburton from England, Miss Pattern, Mr. and Mrs. 
Betterby, and Miss Pollard. {Turning to Miss Pattern.) 
This is lovely weather, Miss Pattern, not a bit too warm. 
How iiave you been .'' 

Miss P. Very well, thank you. Mr. Bidder. {To Bab- 
BUi'.TON.) I suppose this is not your first visit to America.'' 

Bab. Yes, it is, I'm happy to say — I mean, I'm sorry; 
that is. certainly. 

Ivliss P. I hope you'll find it very pleasant, and then when 
you return youll be able to give a good account of your 
American cousins. 

Bab. But I've only a brother-in-law in America. 

Miss P. Yes — but — well, I'll ask you to excuse me 
while I go and see that you and Mr. Bidder will be made 
comfortaljle. I hadn't much warning of your coming. {Go- 
ing, turns and contes back.) What's your man's name, Mr. 
Babburton ? 

Bab. Watts's name ? 

Miss P. Yes — er — that's what I said. 

Bab. Beg pardon. 

Miss P. What do you call your valet .? 

Bab. Watts. 

Miss P. You'll excuse me for leaving you. {Exit, fol- 
lo2ved by \Natts, with 7'alises, etc.) 

Mrs. B. Carrie, I tliink you and I had better run away 
too. and make our toilettes for luncheon. {To her husband') 
Willie, you'll see that these gentlemen get whatever thev 
want. '{Exit with Carrie.) 

Bet. I know what /<?« want. Bob, of course, but you see 
this isn't my house, and dear aunt doesn't keep Old Tom and 
Oi.inge Bitters. You know Old Tom, of course, Mr. Bab- 
burton .'' Comes from your country. 

Bab. Can't say I do. Who is he ? 

Bid. His last name's Gin. Remember h-'m now? 

Bab. Old Tom Gin ? Sounds familiar. Oh, you mean 
— oh, yes. Ha! ha! ha! Now that's clever, Bidder. 
Must remember that. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 9 

Bet. Bob, any news about B. B. & P. ? 

(Babburton shows signs of alann.') 

Bid. Nothing more than I told you in my letter. But 
Babburton here ought to know something about it, but he 
says he never heard of it until I mentioned it to him yesterday. 

Bab. 'Pon honor, my dear fellow. 

Bet. But your brother-in-law is president. 

Bab. Well, I can't help that. 

Bid. Never mind, Babburton. Perhaps you may remem- 
ber something about it iater, when you know us better. Can't 
we smoke a cigar somewhere, Billy ? 

Bet. Yes ; out on the piazza. Do you smoke, Mr. Bab- 
burton ? 

Bab. No, but don't mind me. You go ahead, and 111 
take care of myself. 

Bet. All right. You won't mind, will you ? 

Bab. Not a bit. {Exit Bidder and Betterby, r.) 

Bab. {seats himself at tabie, R. c). That's deuced odd. 
There's another fellow wants to find out about this B. B. & 
P., tiiis railroad. I don't see why the devil they don't find 
out for themselves, and not bother me about it. {Takes up 
a book from the table, opens it at ra?idom and reads aloud :) 
" If they are old, put them in boiling water ; if they are ten- 
der, this is unnecessary. Cut them in small pieces." What 
the deuce is all this about ? {Looks at the back of the bind- 
ing, and reads .•) " How to Treat your Guests." Great 
Heavens! {Turns back to original place.) Oh, mush- 
rooms. It's a cookerv book. I wonder where Watts is all 
this time. {Calls.) Watts ! Watts ! 
{Enter Watts, c.) 

Watts. Yes, sir. 

Bab. Everything all right? 

Watts. Yes, sir; heverythink. 

Bab. And my room ready for me ? 

Watts. Yes, sir ; hall ready. 

Bab. Very well. I'll be there directly. 

Watts. Very good, sir. {Going.) 

Bab. But, Watts, one moment, please. Do you happen 
to remember these ladies' and gentlemen's names ? I don't 
want to have to ask them. 

Watts. Ho, yes. sir. The hold lady's Miss Pattern, sir. 

Bab. Yes, {with difficulty) P—P— Pattern. 

Watts. The young lady's Miss Pollard. 



lO A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Bab. Yes, P— Pollard. 

Watts. Hand the married lady's Mrs. Betterby. 

Bab. B — Betterby, yes. 

Watts. Hand 'er 'usband's Mr. Betterby, sir. 

Bab. Oh, the deuce ! I hoped he'd have a name that was 
easy to say. 

Watts. And you know Mr. Bidder's name, sir, and that's 
hall. 

Bab. Very well. You may go. {Exit Watts, c.) Now 
did any one ever hear such a list of names ? Why, I'll have 
to go down on the beach every morning before breakfast like 
Demos — what's his name — the orator. Hello! here's Mrs. 
Betterby. 

{Enter Mrs. Betterby, r.) 

Mrs. B. Mr. Babburton, has my husband gone away and 
left you all by yourself.'' That wasn't very polite of him. 

Bab. Oh, but I told him I didn't mind. 

Mrs. B. Miss Pattern wished me to tell you that your 
room was all ready for you whenever you cared to go there. 

Bab. Very kind, I'm sure. 

Mrs. B. {seating herself). My husband tells me your 
sister married Mr. Blake, the president of — 

Bab. {eagerly). Yes — and you know him .-' Nice fellow, 
Blake — 

Mrs. B. No, I don't know him myself, but I know of him 
very well. Of course, you know all about the road. 

Bab. The road ? 

Mrs. B. Yes, the B. B. & P. Now don't tell me you 
don't know anything about it, Mr. Babburton. for I'm only a 
woman, you know, and have a right to be curious, and I'm 
sure you'll gratify a woman's curiosity. Tell me — what 
kind of a report do you expect ? 

Bab. But, my dear madam, as I told Mr. Bidder — 

Mrs. B. Oh, never mind. 1 really don't care. {Aside.) 
He's evidently told Mr. Bidder. {AloJtd.) But your room's 
all ready, and we lunch at half-past one. {Exit, c.) 

B.A.B. Well, by Jove, t' ere's another. Why the deuce 
don't they find out about this infernal road.'' Ah! here's 
Miss Pollard. Nice girl, Miss Pollard. 
{Enter Carrie, r.) 

Car. Oh, Mr. Babburton, I've been looking for you. 
Miss Pattern wanted me to tell you that your room was all 
ready. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. I I 

Bab. Thanks very much. But aren't you going to sit 
down for a while? It's very cool in here. 

Car. Thank you. It is lovely and cool for July. You 
know it's usually very uncomfortable at this season of the 
year with us. I suppose you've hardly had time to form any 
opinion of America yet, Mr. Babburton. 

Bab. Oh, I haven't been busy at all, but I only landed a 
week afjo. But I'm sure I like you — I mean, I'm sure 
youVe very kind. 

Car. I suppose Mr. Bidder took you to the Stock Ex- 
chan<;e.'' 

Bab. Oh, yes ; and do you know I thought they were 
fighting until Bidder told me it was only their way. 

Car. It must have seemed very odd to you. Of course 
you know a great deal about Mr. Blake's road — the B. B. 
& P. 

Bab. Now, Miss Pollard ! 'Pon honor ! 

Car. Oh, Mr. Babburtor^! Fie! When /, a poor inno- 
cent girl, ask you purely out of curiosity — for I've a right to 
be curious, you know — for you to be so anxious, so eager 
to deny all knowledge of the market ! It surely won't do any 
harm to tell me ! 

Bab. But as I told Mr. Bidder — 

Car. Oh, never mind. {Aside.) He's told Bob. {Aloud.) 
But you will excuse me now, won't you? I have to attend 
to a few little things for Miss Pattern before luncheon. Oh! 
we lunch at half-past one. Don't forget. I'll see you then. 
{Exit, c.) 

Bab. Now I wonder what the deuce is the matter with 
these people. They must think I'm an American Bradshaw. 
Confound their railroad. What do they want to call it by 
such a beastly name for? B. B. & P. ! Now that's a nice 
name, isn't it ? Suppose a fellow really stammered, how the 
deuce could he say it, you know? I don't believe Demos — 
what's his name — the Grecian orator could have said it at 
all. I talk better than he did — or so my friends tell me. 
But really, though, I wish I could tell Miss Pollard some- 
thing about this road. She's such a nice girl, you know. 
Nicest girl I ever met. Wonder if she noticed that I stam- 
mered. Funny, but I don't when I sing. Happy thought I 
I'll get her to ask me to sing. No, I can't do that. I have 
it ! Here's everything ! {^Goes to table, R., and writes.) 
" My dear sister, there's a young lady here, awfully nice 



12 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

girl," — let me see, — "awfully interested in railroads, and 
she wants to know all about the B." — damn such a name 
anyway. Can't even write it. {Reads letter over.') There ! 
I've got too many B's in that railroad. (Takes pe7i and 
draws line through a "^.") " Please ask your husband all 
about it, and write me by return mail. Your loving brother 
Arthur. P.S. She's the nicest girl I ever met." {Sealing 
letter.) There ! That'll please her, I'm sure. 
{Enter Miss Pattern, r.) 

Miss P. Writing a letter, Mr. Babburton ? Not home- 
sick already, I hope? 

Bab. No, no, I assure j'ou. I was only asking my sister 
— that is, letting her know — 

Miss P. Oh, yes ; of your safe arrival. Can you tell me 
anything about (Babburton starts) incubators .'' 

Bab. Beg pardon ? 

Miss P. About incubators — an invention for hatching 
chickens by artificial heat. 

Bab. Fancy ! 

Miss P. The air in the incubator is kept at a certain 
temperature, and you put in the eggs, and leave them there 
until they hatch. I am very much interested in it myself, 
and have bought one of them, but so far I haven't succeeded 
in getting a single chicken. I thought, perhaps, you might 
be able to give me some advice about it. 

Bab. I'm very sorry, I'm sure. 

Miss P. But of course ! I ought to have known you 
would not care for such things. You are too much interested 
in railroads, and all that. 

Bab. But, my dear Miss Pattern — 

Miss P. Yes, I know. You gentlemen are always so 
unwilling to say anything to us poor women about such 
matters ! But, you see, I'm a little interested in your brother- 
in-law's road myself — I tell you this in confidence — and 
thought you wouldn't mind telling me about it ; for of course 
you know. 

Bab. But, my dear Miss Pattern ! as I told Mr. Bidder 
this morning — 

Miss P. Oh, never mind ! I won't persist. {Aside.) 
He's evidently told Mr. Bidder. {Aloud.) But your room 
is all in readiness for you. You'll excuse me, won't you ^ 
I'm obliged to look after my incubator. I'll see you at 
luncheon. We lunch at half-past one, remember. {Exit, c.) 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. I3 

Bab. Thank Heaven, that's all there are in the family! 
I suppose they think I don't know ^;y/thing. Don't feel 
sure I do myself now. Yes, I do know one thing. They 
lunch at half-past one. 

{Enter Watts, c.) 

Watts. Oh, Mr. Babburton ' You'll liexcuse me for 
hasking, sir, and I thought you wouldn't mind, but do you 
know anything about the B. B. & P., sir.-* 

Bab. {shotiting). Watts ! 

Watts. Ye — yes, sir. 

Bab. Do you want a diflerent master? 

Watts. N — no, sir. Bv no means, sir. 

Bab. Then never mention tiiat damned road to me again. 
There, never mind, Watts. But I'm very much put out. 

W.A.TTS. I'm very sorry, sir, but tiie 'ousemaid hasked me 
to liask you, sir, and I didn't know there was any 'arm, sir. 

Bab. The housemaid ! 

Watts. Yes, sir. She said — 

Bab. Never mind what she said. You tell her to tell 
everybody she sees that I don't know a railroad from — from 
a bull-pup. Don't forget that. Now show me where my 
room is, and help me change my clothes. 

Watts. Very good, sir. This is the way. 

{Exit Babburton and Watts, c. Enter Bidder and 
Betterby, r.) 

Bet. Your English friend seems to have taken himself 
off, Bob. Do you suppose he really knows anything about 
his brother-in-law.'s road .'' 

Bid. I did think so, but I'm beginning to doubt it. He 
seems a very good fellow, though. But you needn't worry 
about your stock. I have perfect confidence in it. 

Bet. So have I, Bob, so have I. But, you see, if anything 
should go wrong this time, I don't know what I could do. 
My aunt would be perfectly disgusted with me again, and 
throw me over and not leave me a cent. 

Bid. Oh, never mind your aunt. 

Bet. I never do, Bob — that is, sometimes. 

Bid. You see, if the B. B. & P. succeeds in leasing the 
O. L. & N. road, as they are trying to, it will give them all 
the freight that goes through 'the Big River Valley, and 
they'll have a through line to the coast, and that would boom 
the stock fifty points sure. Now if we could only find out, a 
few days before the Street, whether the lease was going 



14 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

throupjh, we'd get rich in no time. Why, if Babburton knew 
anytliing, he'd find out about that from Blake. Blake could 
make a quarter of a million for him just as easy as not. 

Bet. By Jove, old man, I've got an idea! 

Bid. The deuce, you have! 

Bet. Get Babburton to invite his brother-in-law — I 
mean, I'll invite his brother-in-law to come and see Babbur- 
ton ; he must want to see Babburton. 

Bid. Oh, nonsense, Billy! You don't know him, and 
your aunt doesn't know him. 

Bet. That's so; never thought of that. But hadn't I 
better buy another thousand ? 

B.D. Look here, Billy. You've got about all you can 
stagger under 'now, and your margin isn't any too big for 
what you have now. 

Bet. But you say they're going to lease this road — the 
O. L. & N. 

Bid. But I'm not infallible, my dear fellow. 

Bet. That's so ; never thought of that. I've got to 
leave you for a while, old man. You look out for yourself, 
will you ? I'll be back before long. {Exit, R.) 

Bid. {reflectively). One of the best fellows in the world, 
but as simple as a baby. Dear me, I'm getting all these 
good people in such a frame of mind about the stock market, 
that it's all I can do to keep them from ruining themselves. 
If this stock should go wrong — Phew ! Nonsense — it won't 
— it'll go up. Can't help it ; and then — and then — Carrie 
and I — Bless her heart ! . 

{Enter Carrie, c.) 

Car. Bless whose heart. Bob ? 

Bid. Yours, clear. {Takiw^ both her hands.') I was 
only thinking how happy we'd be when B. B. & P. goes up. 

Car. Oh, do tell me quick, what did Mr. Babburton tell 
you — 

{Efiter Mrs. Betterby, suddenly, c.) 

Mrs. B. Oh ! Here you are, Mr. Bidder. Do tell me 
quick, what did Mr. Babburton — 

{Enter Bf.tterby, suddenly, R.) 

Bet. I say, Bob, Dolly says Babburton says he told 
you — 

{Enter Miss Pattern, suddenly, l.) 

Miss P. Mr. Bidder, Mr. Bidder, tell me what Mr. Bab- 
burton told you about B. B. & P. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 1 5 

Car. Why, Miss Pattern ! have you been — 

Mrs. B. Aunt Pattern ! you don't mean to say — 

Bet. By Jove ! she's got some ! 

Q)ead silence. Tableau.') 

Miss P. Well, the cat"s out of the bag. I suppose I have 
a right to do what I please with my own money. William 
Betterby, you needn't stand there looking as if you'd discov- 
ered a planet. 

Bet. {aside'). She's got an awful lot more sense than I 
thought. 

Miss P. {to Bidder). But what did he say ? 

All {to Bidder). Yes, what did he say ? 

Bid. Tome.? Nothing! {Tableau.) 

CURTAIN. 



l6 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 



ACT II. 

Scene. — Grounds near Miss Pattern's house. Rustic 
table and chairs, R. C. Rustic seat, L. C. Various pieces 
of outdoor furniture to indicate that the place is nutch 
used by the household. Carrie and Bidder seated at 
table, R. c. 

Bid. {laying down newspaper, which he has been reading). 
This is all very pleasant and jolly, little girl, taking; a day off, 
and having a nice long time with you. but I really ought to 
have taken the early train to the city this morning. 

Car. One day won't make very much difference, will it, 
Bob? 

Bid. It might make all the difference in the world. How- 
ever, the day after a lioliday is not apt to amount to much, 
and as long as I have made up my mind to stay here, I might 
as well think of nothing but having a good time. My Eng- 
lish friend did not turn out very much for points on the stock 
market, did he? 

Car. He was the means of our finding out one thing, and 
that was that Miss Pattern had been speculating. And 
you've known it all this time, and have never told me a 
word about it. I don't think that was very kind. Bob. 

Bid. But, Carrie dear, I had given the old lady my prom- 
ise not to tell a soul. 

Car. Then you don't think it necessary to make any 
difference between me and everybody else ? 

Bid. Why, Carrie ! Now that isn't fair, you know. 

Car. Oh, very well, sir. I shall know what to expect in 
the future. You seem to like Mr. Babburton, notwithstand- 
ing the fact that he doesn't give you any information. 

Bid. Why, yes ; I like him. He's .a very good fellow ; 
don't you think so? 

Car. -Yes, he's so frank and open. 

Bid. Well, I have an idea there isn't very much in his 
mind to keep back. But he's a sweet-tempered chap. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. IJ 

Car. Yes, indeed he is. His disposition is perfectly 
lovely. He's the most amiable man I ever met. 

B'D. Oh, come, dear ! Isn't that puttinu it a little strong? 

Car. Not a bit. He's perfectly lovelv. And he's as 
considerate as he can be. And his manners are so nice. 

Bid. {ii/ipatiently). Oh, draw it mild, Carrie. He's no 
Chesterfield. 

Car. I didn't say he was. And he's such a nice-looking 
man ; don't you think so ? 

Bid. No. 

Car. Why, Bob! how can you say so! He's really a very 
handsome man ; has a very distinguished look. And I really 
think — but never mind — I don't believe I'd better tell you 
about that. 

Bid. Ah, Carrie ! please. 

Car. Oh, it's nothing. Only last night after dinner, he 
was so very — he seemed so much — I'm afraid if he stays 
here much longer he'll fall in love with me — and — 

Bid. But surely, dear, you don't mean — 
(^Enter Betterby. l. u. e.) 

Bid. {aside). Confound him ! What does he want to turn 
up now for .'' 

Bet. Hello, Bob ! Where have you been since break- 
fast ? I've been looking for you everywhere. 

Car. Mr. Bidder and I have been taking a walk, and 
we've only just come back. But, now that you've come, I 
think I'll go into the house for a nap, and leave you to your 
own devices. {Exit, L. 2 E.) 

Bet. It's funny. Bob, but it never seems to occur to girls 
that a fellow wanis to be alone with a fellow sometimes. I 
hope she didn't walk you verv far. 

BiD. {absetit-7imidedly). Oh, that's all right. 

Bet. You see, girls are queer. Now. I suppose she 
thought you'd come down here especially to see her. 
Where's Mr. Babburton ? 

Bid. I don't know — confound him! 

Bet. Why, what's the matter with him? 

Bid. Oh, nothing. I'm tired of him. 

Bet. Why, that's just what my wife said. You see, she 
thinks he's rich, and she wants him to fall in love with Car- 
rie. {'QwiU'ek looks surprised and disgusted.) But she says 
he's so thick-headed he'd never think of it. But it seemed to 
me he was a good deal taken with her last night after dinner. 
Didn't you notice it ? 



l8 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Bid. Notice it ! No ! Nothing of the sort. {Aside.') 
Confound him ! 

13et. What's the matter, Bob .'' 

Bid. Nothing. 

Bet. You're not feelins; blue about B. B. & P., are you ? 

Bid. Hang B. B. & P. ! The road may go to the devil 
for all I care. 

Bet. By Jove ! they'd have a bully passenger business if 
they did. But what is the trouble, old man .'' 

Bid. Oh, I've got a headache. 

{Enter Babijurton, l. u. e.) 

Bab. Hello! here you are. I say, won't you fellows go 
for a swim ? 

Bid. {crossly'). No, thank you. I'm going into the house 
to read. {Exit, L. u. E.) 

Bab. What's the matter with him ? 

Bet. I don't know. Says he's got a headache. 

Bab. But I say ! Won't you go .'' 

Bet. Go where.'' Into the house ? 

Bab. Go for a swim. 

Bet, No, thank you. I never care for it. {Aside.) 
What in thunder does Bob want to have a headache for ! 
I expected to have a long talk with him. Guess I'll go and 
find him. {lA^alks off abseHt-7iiindedLy. Exit, h. V. K.) 

Bab. Don't seem to care for me much. Wonder what 
I've done. Airs. Betterby seemed put out with me this 
morning, too. Can't imagine what I've done, I'm sure. 
Hope Miss Pollard isn't put out with me, too. Nice girl, 
Miss Pollard, awfully nice girl. There's the old lady, too ; 
seemed rather crabbed this morning. Perhaps that's only 
her way. I'd like to please her, too, if I could. Might 
please Miss Pollard by pleasing her. Wish I could tell her 
how to get a chicken out of that what's-its-name. By Jove! 
I have it. That'll please her awfully. {Calli7ig.) Watts, I 
say. Watts. Where the deuce is Watts ? 
{Enter Watts, l. 2 e.) 

Watts. Yes, sir. What is it, sir.'' 

Bab. How far is the village, Watts ? 

Watts. Near by, sir. 

Bab. {giving hitn money). Here, go to the shop and buy 
two or three nice chickens ; nice ones, mind. Don't say a 
word to any one. Bring them back here and put them in 
Miss Pattern's what's-its-name — hatching machine. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. IQ 

Watts. Live ones, sir, hof course ? 

Bab. Oil, yes, to be sure. Glad you thought of that, 
Watts. You're a very clever man. Don't know what I'd do 
without you. 

Watts. Thank you, sir. {Going.') 

Bab. But wait. Perhaps she keeps it locked. 

Watts. Ho, no, sir. 

Bab. Are you sure ? 

Watts. Ho, yes, sir. I was looking at it this mornings, 
sir. 

Bab. All right, then. Hurry ! (Exit Watts, r. u. e.) 
Now, when slie finds them there, Miss Pattern will be so 
pleased. She'll never know, you know. Or, even if she did 
know, she'd know I meant to please her. Hello, here's Bet- 
terby. Perhaps he's changed his mind about the swim. 
(Enter Betterby, l. 2 E.) 

Back again, Betterby. Have you decided to take a swim 
after all ? 

Bet. No, my dear fellow. I just came back to beg your 
pardon for leaving you so abruptly just now. But I was wor- 
ried about Bidder. I'm afraid he isn't well. 

Bab. So sorry. 

Bet. I hope you don't mind. 

Bab. Oh, but I do, you know. I feel very badly about it. 

Bet. But you mustn't feel so. I didn't mean anything 
by it. 

Bab. Oh ! you're only chaffing, then. He isn't ill. 

Bet. Bidder.'' Says he is. 
■ Bab. Then, my dear fellow, of course I feel badly about 
it. Only decent, you know. 

Bet. What is it you feel badly about ? 

Bab. Why, Bidder's being ill, to be sure. 

Bet. But I meant, I hope you don't feel badly about my 
leavin>j you so abruptly. 

Bab. Oh, not a bit. Rather liked it. I mean, I'm glad 
you did — that is — you know what I mean. 

Bet. • Yes, that's all right. Seen my aunt this morning ? 

Bab. Yes, she showed me her what's-its-name. 

Bet. Incubator. 

Bab. Yes, that's it. But I say, Betterby, she doesn't 
have much luck, does she .' 

Bet. No, not much. 

Bab. I say, perhaps she doesn't use the right kind of 
bait? 



20 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Bet. Bait ? 

Bab. Yes ; that's a joke. 

Bet. JoI<e ? Oh, I see. Ha ! ha ! ha ! But I've got a 
conundrum for you. 

Bab. Oh, I say — don't. 

Bet. But tliis is a new one. Bidder made it up this 
morning. 

Bab. By Jove ! Bidder made one up ! 

Bet. Yes ; it's this. Why is Miss Pattern's incubator 
lii<e — no, hold on. It isn't one of those. What's the dif- 
ference — that's it — what's the difference between George 
Washington and Miss Pattern's incubator.'' Give it up? 

Bab. Yes, I always give 'em up. 

Bet. One was — wait a minute. Let me think. 

Bab. Does Bidder know tlie answer? 

Bet. Of course he does. Now I've got it. One had a 
hatchet when he was a chicken, and the other had a chicken 
— no. Tliat isn't it. One was a hatchet when he had — no. 
I'm getting confused. One hatched it when — I'm afraid 
I've forgotten it, but it was a very good one. 

Bab. Yes, should think it might have been ; but I'm not 
much on riddles ; only know one. Why is a sailor on shore 
like a parson on horseback ? 

Bet. I give it up. 

Bab. That's the only one I know. 

Bet. What's the answer? 

Bab. I don't know. All I knovv's the riddle, you know. 

Bet. Oh ! 

Bab. I don't care much for riddles, do you ? 

Bet. No, I can't say I do. Miss Pattern, my aunt, you 
know, is great on riddles, though. Last Sunday she asked 
me wliy I was like the Hoosac Tunnel. You know what the 
Hoosac Tunnel is, don't you? 

Bab. It's a — a — tunnel, isn't it? 

Bet. Yes, that's it. And the answer was, because I was 
the biggest bore in this part of the country. 

Bab. Bore? Oh, yes; ha! ha! ha! But, I say, Bet- 
terby, that's clever, isn't it ? Must remember that. Your 
aunt knows a good deal, doesn't she? 

Bet. H'm — no. I don't think she knows anything — 

{Enter, c, Miss Pattern, wlio in'crhears last remark, 
auet Mrs. Betterby, the forjner holding by the legs a live 
chicken in each hand.) 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 21 

Miss P. {coming forward quickly, ?nuch excited'). So I 
don't know anything ! William Betterby, aren't you ashamed 
of yourself? 

Bab. {aside). She doesn't seem really pleased. 

Bet. Ashamed of myself .'' Why, auntie .'' 

Miss P. Why.? Why.? Don't you trifle with me, Wil- 
liam Betterby. Look at these ! {Holding iip chickens.) 

Bet. I see them. They're chickens. 

Miss P. Yes, they're chickens ; and I suppose you thought 
it was funny. I suppose that's your idea of wit. 

Bet. I haven't the least idea what you're talking about, 
auntie. 

Bab. {aside). They seem to be nice chickens, too. 

Mrs. B. I told you Willie wouldn't do such a thins:. Aunt 
Pattern. ( To her husband.) Aunt Pattern found these 
chickens in her incubator not a moment ago, and she thinks 
you put them there. 

Bet. No, I didn't, auntie, honestly and truly. Perhaps 
you overlooked these when you took out your last batch of 
eggs. 

Mjss p. Don't try my temper, William. I am doing my 
best to keep calm. 

Bet. Anyhow, you needn't be angry ; you're two chickens 
better off than you were before. 

Miss P. No such thing. Don't you think I know my 
own chickens when I see tiiem 'i 

Bab. {eagerly). But, Miss Pattern, you're mistaken. 
They're not your chickens. I told Watts distinctly to buy 
them in the village, and I never knew Watts to — 

Miss P. What! You told him.? Then it was you who 
had these put into my incubator ? 

Bab. Yes, I did it. But, my dear madam, I thought it 
would please you, and that you'd never know, you know. 

Miss P. {very dignified). Mr. Babburton, you are my 
guest, and I can say no more to you than that I am very 
much surprised. {Exit, c, with chickens.) 

Mrs. B. Mr. Babburton. how could you ! Really, I am 
almost tempted to tell you that it was unkind. Certainly not 
in good taste. {Exit, c.) 

Bet. By Jove, Babburton! how did you dare? Ha! 
ha! ha! You ought to be — ha! ha! ha! — ashamed. I 
wouldn't be in your boots — ha ! ha ! ha ! — for a farm. 
{Exit, C.) 



22 , A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Bab. Now, isn't that too bad ! I didn't mean to be 
unkind. Damned if I see now why she's so vexed. Oh, 
by Jove ! yes, I do. They're her own chickens ! Of course 
she couldn't liatch her own chickens over again. But I told 
W.itts to buy them. I imist see Walts. {CaUiug.) Watts ! 
Watts ! 

{Enter Watts, l. 2 e., heated attd uncomfortable.) 

Bab. {severely). Watts, my man, come here ! Where did 
you get those chickens .'' 

Watts. I was just coming to tell you, sir. They only 
had plucked ones at the shop, sir, and on my way back I 
saw some nice ones running about, so I oaught a couple, sir, 
and I got very 'ot in consequence, and put them into the hin- 
cubator, as you directed me to, sir. I thought it would save 
time, sir, but I 'ad no idea 'ow 'ard they were to catch, sir. 
Here's the money, sir. 

Bab. Keep it, Watts. You've earned it. I suppose it's 
all my own fault. Watts, go to the house, please, and pack 
my portmanteau. 

Watts. Are you going, sir ? 

Bab. Yes, I think I'd t)etter. I'll follow you directly. 

Watts. Very good, sir. {Going.) 

Bab. {to himself). But the letter to my sister ! Miss 
Pattern wanted to know about this B — B — this road — they 
all wanted to know. By Jove ! they'll all be pleased. Hold 
on. Watts ! 

Watts. Yes, sir. 

Bab. Unpack my portmanteau ; I've changed my mind. 

Watts. But I 'aven't packed it, sir. 

Bab. Well, unpack it directly you've packed it, then. 

Watts. Very good, sir. {Aside.) I'm afraid he's not 
well. He ought to be at 'ome. {Exit, L. 2 E.) 

Bab. I suppose I'll hear from Laura this afternoon. 
She'll tell me ail aBout the road, of course, and then I can 
tell all these people about it — that is, if they'll listen to me. 
Mrs. Betterby said it was not in good taste. Oh, come! now 
that's hard. I never did a thing that was not in good taste 
in my life — never. Oh, dear me ! they're the hardest people 
to please I ever saw. But, by Jove, if I wait to get a letter 
froin Laura, I'll have to meet the old lady again ! I know ! 
I'll behave as if she wasn't vexed. But she was vexed — 
deuced vexed. That won't do. I have it! I'll pretend she's 
forgotten all about it, and I'll be very pleasant and happy, 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 23 

and she'll be very pleasant and happy — perhaps. O Lord ! 
I don't feel really confident. But I would like to go for a 
swim ; don't want to go all alone, though. Bidder's got 
a headache, Betterby never bathes — I mean, swims. I 
wonder if Miss Pattern — Oh, rot ! I'm so put out, I can't 
think. I'll go down to the beach anyway. {Exit, R. 2 E.) 

{Enter Carrie, c, with work-basket, etc., followed by 
Bidder, wJio looks very iincontfortable. Carrie seats her- 
self at. table, R., and begins crocheting.') 

Bid. But, my dear little girl, I'm awfully sorry. I really 
would have told you about Miss Pattern, but I was afraid 
you'd tell some one, and — 

Car. Oh, you were ? 

Bid. {hastily). No, no, no. I don't mean that, Carrie. 
I was afraid Miss Pattern would find out I told you, and then 
she'd think that if I would tell you, I'd tell anybody. 

Car. Oh, she would, would she ? 

Bid. {anxiously). No, no. I don't mean that. I mean 
that if I told you, I thought she'd think that you'd — that is, 
I'd think she oughtn't to have — Don't you think so ? 

Car. Oh, I don't have to think. You're doing all the 
thinking, you know. {Drops ball of worsted.) 

Bid. But, Carrie, dear, what can I do ? 

Car. You might pick up my worsted, Bob, please. 

Bid. {picking up and handing her the worsted). Yes, 
dear ; excuse me. But that wasn't what I meant. What 
can I say, dear ? 

Car. Say anything you please. Bob. Only please say 
something new. 

Bid. Yes, dear, I know ; but I can't think. 

Car. Well, then, let's talk about something else. Speak- 
ing of something new, do you know, I was looking at Mr. 
Babburton this morning, and — 

Bid. Hang Mr. Babburton ! 

Car. Why, Bob, what's poor Mr. Babburton done to you t 

Bid. Done to me ? Nothing. I'm tired of him. 

Car. And I suppose when you're tired of me, you'll want 
to hang me. 

Bid. {taking one of her hands). But I "11 never get tired 
oi yon, dear. 

Car. I can't knit with one hand. Bob dear. (Bidder 
still retai?is her hand.) But you will get tired of me, unless 
you tell me everything ; or if you don't get tired of me, it 
won't be mv fault. 



24 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Bid. But I will tell you everything. 

Car. Then tell me one thing now. 

Bid. That depends on what it is, dear, of course. 

Car. Oh, does it ? Excuse me, but I want to crochet. 
{Drawing away her hand.) But as I was saying about Mr. 
Babburton — 

Bid. No, no, dear ; I don't mean that. Of course, any- 
thing I can tell you. 

Car. Are you sure ? Anything? 

Bid. Yes, anything. 

Cak. How many shares of B. B. & P. has Miss Pattern 
got? 

Bid. Come, come, Carrie, I really can't, you know — 

Car. Oh. I don't care — really, not in the least. But, do 
you know, this morning, as I was looking at Mr. Babburton, 
he looked — 

Bid. Three hundred — 

Car. Oh, Bob, dear, he didn't look a day over thirty. 

Bid. Siiares — three hundred shares. 

Car. Thank you very much, dear. It's awfully kind 
of you to tell me everything. Come and sit beside me, 
and — 

{Enter Betterby and Mrs. B., c.) 

Bet. I say. Bob, did you hear — ha ! ha ! ha ! 

M RS. B. O Carrie, such a joke — ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Bid. Let's have it. 

Bet. Babburton, your English friend — ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Mrs. B. Wait, Willie ; let me tell tliem. 

Bet. All right ; you tell them. 

Mrs. B. When Aunt Pattern went to her incubator a 
little wiiile ago she found two good-sized chickens in it, and 
of course she was perfectly furious, and started off with a 
chicken in each hand to find Willie ; for she was convinced 
that he did it. Well, she found Willie here with Mr. Bab- 
burton, and immediately pitched into him, hammer and tongs, 
and poor Willie was perfectly innocent all the time. I for- 
get how it happened exactly, but Mr. Babburton finally told 
her that he had done it because — ha ! ha! ha! — he thought 
it would please her. 

{All laugh together very imcch^ 

Bid. Do you suppose he honestly thought she'd suppose 
some of the eggs had hatched .'' 

Mrs. B. Yes, I suppose so. 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 2$ 

Car. Poor, dear man ! It's really too bad. I wonder 
where he is. 

Bet. Gone in bathing, I think. 

Car. I do hope he won't drown himself. 

(^Enter Miss Pattern, l. 2 e.) 

Miss P. Who's that you're talking about? 

Bet. Mr. Babburton. 

Miss P. Humph ! He ought to be drowned, the puppy! 
I hope you're proud of your friend, Mr. Bidder. He's a nice 
man to get points out of on the stock market ! Points ! 
Points ! I should as soon think of getting points out of a 
piece of putty. Why, he's the most simple, stupid — 

Car. But. Miss Pattern, if he's so stupid, he wouldn't 
think of playing you such a practical joke. He surely hon- 
estly thought it would please you. 

Miss P. {trying 7iot to laugh, but gradually laughing more 
and more). It's always just such stupid people who play 
practical jokes, but — ha! ha! ha! — there — ha! ha! ha! 
— I can't help it. I must laugh — ha! ha! ha! He's such 
a simpleton. 

{Eiiter Babburton, r. 2 E., looking very uncomfortable 
and embarrassed, but walking quickly to Miss Pattern, 
and assujiting a very vivacious jnatiner.) 

Bab. Ah, Miss Pattern ! This is such a lovely morning 
and this is such a pretty place — sweetly pretty place — with 
all the flowers and the sea and the dear little chickens — I 
mean, dear little — O Lord ! I went down to the shore to 
take a swim. 

Miss P. (coldly). Did you take one.'' 

Bab. No, I didn't. 

Miss P. {coldly). Why not ? 

Bab. When I got there, I felt so blue, so sorry. Oh, 
Miss Pattern ! I'm awfully distressed about those chickens, 
I am, indeed. I really thought — 

Miss P. {kindly). There! there! Never mind, Mr. 
Babburton. {Everybody lajighs.) Perhaps, after ail. the 
reason I haven't succeeded in hatching any eggs is because 
the incubator waits until the chickens are ready for maiket 
before hatching them. 

{Enter Watts, c, bringitig a telegram.) 

Watts. Hexcuse me, marm, but 'ere's a telegraphic de- 
spatch for Mr. Bidder, marm. 

Bid. Telegram for me ? Thank you ; must be from the 



26 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

office. (^Reads; others, except Babburton, who detains 
Watts mid talks to hitn, 7)ioving near to hiin and listen- 
ing.) " Rumor that B. B. & P. has not succeeded in leasing 
the O. L. & N. Stock gone off two points. Wire us what 
to do." (^All look from one to the other in great dismay, 
without saying a word, and then assume attitudes of extreme 
depression. Exit Watts, c.) 

Bab. {^looking from one to the other; aside). Dear me ; 
somebody's dead in the family. They don't want me here. 
{Aloud.) Miss Pattern, I see that you and your friends 
have met with a bereavement, so I'll just — 

Miss P. No, no, Mr. Babburton. A little unpleasant 
news, that's all. You mustn't think of going away. We'll 
soon be cheerful again. 

{Enter Watts, c, britiging letters^ 

Watts. The mail 'as just harrived, marm, and I thought 
I'd bring it to you. 

Miss P. Thank you. Watts. {Taking letters.) Here's 
one for you, Carrie. {Handing it to her.) Two for you, 
Dolly. {Handing them.) One, two, three, six for you, 
William, and they look suspiciously like bills. {Handing 
them.) And here's a very thick one for Mr. Babburton. 
{Handing it to him.) 

Bab. Thanks. {Aside.) It's from Laura. Now I'll 
please them. 

Miss P. Here's a letter for Thomas Tatterton. I wonder 
who he is ? Oh ! it's in your care, Mr. Babburton ; for- 
warded from New York. 

Bab. Beg pardon ? 

Miss P. Tatterton — Thomas Tatterton ; don't you know 
him ? 

Bab. No, don't remember — 

Watts {touching his arm). Beg pardon, sir. 

Bab. Oh, yes ; I forgot. It's for Watts. 

Miss P. For Watts ? 

Bab. Yes. His real name's Tatterton — that's his real 
name. But I call him Watts. Here, Watts. {Giving hijn 
the letter ; all the others quietly reading letters. Babbur- 
ton opejts his and takes out large amount of printed mat- . 
ter.) Here we are! Now, Miss Pollard! Now, Miss 
Pattern ! This will tell you all about this B. B. & P.) 
{Gives some to Carrie, some to Miss Pattern, Betterby, 
Bidder, and Mrs. B.) There ! 



A FOOL FOR LUCK. 2/ 

Car. Why, these are time-tables. 

Bid. This is a list of the directors and the last treasurer's 
report. 

Miss P. And these are freight-rates and maps. 

Bab. {happily). Yes, everything. I asked Laura, my 
sister, to send everything. 

Bid. And is that how you happen to have these 1 

Bab. {//inch pleased). Yes. You all wanted to know 
about the railroad, so I wrote to my sister Laura, Mrs. Blake, 
to tell me all about it, and she has sent me these. Laura 
never does anything by halves, you know. She's a jolly girl. 

Miss P. {testily). What earthly good do you suppose 
these are."* Everybody can get these. 

Bab. {very much dep/-essed. Bidder and the others, try- 
ing not to laugh, turn their backs). Watts, have you un- 
packed my portmanteau .'' 

Watts. Yes, sir. 

Bab. Pack it. 

Watts {picki/tg up a letter which has fallen f/'o/n Bab- 
burton's e/ivelope). Here is your letter, sir. 

Bab. {reading). " Dear Arthur, I asked my husband 
about the railroad, and he said it would take too lona; to tell 
me, and gave me these papers, which I send to you. He 
said there would have to be a number of new ones printed 
soon, because his railroad had just bought or leased another 
railroad. I think he called it the O. L. & N." {Turni/ig to 
the others, ifi an appeali/ig tone.) My sister says they will 
have to print different ones soon. 

Bid. {steppi/ig up to Babburton eagerly). Does she say 
why .'' 

Bab. Yes ; here it is. They have leased another road, 
called the O. L. & N. 

( They all crowd around him tnuch excited.) 

Bid. Excuse me, Babburton, but do you mind — may I 
read it ? 

Bab. Why, certainly, my dear fellow. 

Bid. {reads letter quickly, throivs his artns around Bab- 
burton). My dear fellow, you're a perfect brick — You're 
an angel in disguise ! 

Bab. What have I done ? 

Bid. What have you done ? You've made us all the hap- 
piest people in the world. {Turfis to Carrie and takes 
both her hands.) Now, dear, we need not wait any longer, 
need we ? 



28 A FOOL FOR LUCK. 

Car. Not if you will tell me everything. 

Bkt. We'll soon be all right now, Dolly. 

Mrs. B. Yes, dear, and back in our own house. 

Miss P. And I shall not have to worry about anything 
but my incubator. 

Bab. I'm glad you're all pleased. But, do you know, I 
would rather buy shares in this O. L. & N. 

All. Why ? 

Bab. Oh ! it's a so much nicer name for a railroad. But 
I am glad you're pleased. ( To audience) Are you pleased .'' 

curtain. 



W 



BAKER'S Edition of Plays 



Sbven Characters. —Four Males, Three Females, 



Boston Dip . . . 
Bovled Out . . . 
Bit of Brummagem 
Brother Bill and Me 
Class Day .... 



Peace and Quiet , . 18 
Smashington Goit . . 15 
Silverston's Wager , 15 
Thirty Minutes for Re- 
freshments. ... 15 



15 Comrades 25 

15 Don's Stratagem . . 15 
15 My Turn Next ... 15 
15 Mysterious Disappear- 

25 ance 15 

Poison 25 

Three Males, Four Females, 
Cool Collegians (The) ... 25 | Pretty Piece of Property . 
Six Males, One Female. 
Family Failing ... 15 | Look After Brown . 15 | Turkish Bath 
Five Males, Two Females. 

Dora 15 I John Dobbs .... 15 

Free Ward (The) . . 15 | Old Honesty .... 15 



16 



Slasher and Crasher 
Seeing the Elephant 



. Poor Peter .... 15 
Eight Characters. —Four Males, Four Females. 

15 I Christmas Box ... 15 | My Precious Betsy 



Crinoline ... - - , 

I Our Mutual Friend . 25 | 

Six Males, Two Females. 
Blanks and Prizes . . 15 I Fighting by Proxy . 15 I 
Da\ighter of Regiment 15 | Love's Labor Saved . 15 | 
Five Males, Three Females 



True Unto Death 
Uncle Robert 



Bread on the Waters 
Flower of the Family 
His Last Legs . . , 



Little More Cider , . 
My Brother's Keeper . 
Nicholas Flam . . 



15 Husband to Order . . 15 

15 John Smith .... 15 

15 Last Loaf (The) ... 15 

Little Brown Jug (The) 15 

Seven Males, One Female. 

Payable on Demand . 15 | Sea of Troubles ... 15 

Nine Characters. — Six Males, Three Females. 



15 



15 



Another Glass . 
£>own by the Sea 



Dunducketty's Picnic 15 
Hit Him, He has no 
Friends 15 



Midnight Banquet « 
OnandOtf . . . 



Five Male, Four Females. 

25 I Queen's Heart (The) . 15 | Race for a Widow . . 10 

Two Males, Seven Females. 

Thorn among the Roses 15 

Ten Characters. — Six Males, Four Females. 

Among the Breakers . 15 I Damon and Pythias . 15 | Lying will Out ... 15 

~ 15 Game of Dominos . . 15 Mrs. Walthrop's Bach- 

15 I Lost in London ... 15 | elors 25 

Seven Males, Three Females. 
25 I Flowing Bowl (The) . 25 I Miller and his Men . 16 
15 Home Guard (The) . 15 Paddle your Own Canoe 15 



Better than Gold 



Bull in a China Shop 
Duchess of Dublin 



Coupon Bonds . 
Fnlisted for War 
Ella Rosenberg . 



Shaker Lovers 



Both Alike 



Five Males, Five Females. 
. . 15 I Cleft Stick (The) . . 15 I Lords of Creation . 
I Old and Young ... 15 | 
Eleven Characters.— Six Males, Five Females. 

Babie 25 I The Miller's Wife . . 15 I The " Tomboy " , 

Giralda 15 | Our Folks 16 | 

Eight Males, Three Females. 
Lost Mine (The) . . 25 I "Nevada" .... 25 I Our Boys of 1776 . 
I One Hundred Tears Ago 15 | 
Seven Males, Foar Females. Five Males, Six Femalafc 

A.1»0T« tbe Clouds 15 | The Christening . 

Nine Males, Two Females. 
Don Csesar de Basan . 16 



16 



16 



WALTER H. BAKER & CO., PUBLISHERS 
23 WINTER ST., BOSTON, MASS. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



BAKER'S EDlTIOr 



017 400 455 9 



Twelve Chakactees. — Nine M, 

Ticket of Leave Man 16 | Wife'i 

Ten Males, Two Females. Ei^uv maies, rour jfeinales. 

Gaspardo, the Gondolier .... 15 | Fool's Kevenge (The) 1ft 

Over Twelve Characters. 

Aladdin 15 Jeweller's Apprentice 15 ! Scarlet Letter ... 15 

Babes in the Woods . 15 Lady of Lyons ... 15 School for Scandal . 15 
Lady ot tlie Lake . . 15 
Wonseigiieur . ... 15 
Maid o/ Milan ... 15 
Masauiello .... 15 
Naaman, the Syrian . 25 



Captain Kyd .... 15 

Clari 15 

Dumb Girl of Portici . 15 

East Lynne .... 15 

Fcrced to the War . 25 

Hero of Scotland . . 15 

Hunchback (The) . . 15 

Hamlet 15 

Hidden Hand ... 15 



25 



Poor Gentleman . . 15 

Past Redemption . . 25 

The Stranger .... 16 

Male Characters Only. 

Number of Characters given instead of price, which is uniformly 15 cents each. 



StolenWill ('ITie) 

Golden Buttertlv ('ITia) 25 

Two Orphans ('rhe) . 25 

Virginia Veteran . . 25 

Wallace 15 

Zelina ...... 15 

Blue and Gray, or Star 

of Empire .... 30 



Coals of Fire .... 6 
Close Shave .... 6 
Freedom of the Press . 8 
Gentlemen of the Jury 12 
Great Umbrella Case 32 



Man with the Demijohn 4 
My Uncle the Cai>tain 6 
New Brooms Sweep 

Clean 6 

Public Benefactor . . 6 
Pedlar of Verynice . 7 
Rival Poets .... 2 

Runaways 4 

Ready-made Suit . . 35 

Female Characters Only. 

15 cents each, except Rebecca's Triumph, which is 25 cents 



Great Elixir 
Humors of the Strike 
Hypochondriac (The) 



Cbampion of Her Sex 



Accelerate — operatic 

charade 15 

Bachelor's Christmas 25 

Bunch of Buttercups 15 

Christmas Carol . . 15 

Centennial — charade . 15 
Conjuration — operatic 

charade 15 



College Ned— operetta 15 
Dorothy's Birthday — 

operetta 25 

Diamonds and Toads — 

operetta 15 

Fairy of Fountain . . 25 

Holidays 15 ent. 

Hunt the Thimble . 50 Titania 
I Lost Children ... 15 
Musical Allegories for Female Characters Only, 



Merry Christmas . 
R. E. Porter . . . 
Santa Claus Frolics 
Santa Claus First . 
Santa Claus at Home 
Seven Ages— Tableaux 



Lightheart's Pilgrim- 
age 



15 



15 



Vision of Freedom 
War of Roses , . 



Revolt of the Bees . . 
Tournament of Idyl- I 

court 15 I 

The Pilgrim's Choice, for Male and Females. 
Musical and Other Entertainments for Adults. 

Driggs and His Double, shadow pan- 
tomime 

H. M. S. Pinafore, opera . . . . 
In Pawn, shadow pantomime . . . 
lenny Lind, operetta 



Anastasia, operetta 25 

Anonymous, shadow pantomime. . 2^ 

Arabella and I>ionel, pantomime . 15 

A. Ward's Wax Figger Show ... 25 
Bon Bons, musical and dramatic 



entertninmcnt 25 j Sculptor's Triumph, tableau ent. . 

Capuletta, operatic burlesque . . 15 , Snow Hnund, musical and dramatic 

Cinderella, shadow pantomime . . 2') ; eiiterta'.'iment . ....... 

Drink, shadow pantomime .... 25 Orpheus, shadow pantomime . . 



Stand by the Flag . . 5 
Shall Our Mothers Vote 11 

Two Gentlemen in a Fix 2 

Too Late for the Train 2 

Thief of Time (The) . 6 
Tender Attachment . 

Very Pleasant Evening 3 

Wanted, a Male Cook 4 



Greatest Plague in Life 8 | Red Chignon .... 6 

The Grecian Bend . . 7 Rebecca's Triumph . It 

Love of a Bonnet . . 6 Tipsy Pudding ... 8 

No Cure, No Pay . . 7 Using the Weed . . 7 

Precious Pickle ... 7 | Voyage of Life ... 9 
Musical and Other Plays for Children. 
Male and Female Characters. 



WALTER H. BAKER & CO., PUBLISHERS 
23 WINTER ST., BOSTON, MASS. 



